I have yet to decide whether or not I find the speed of time to be amazing or frightening; regardless, it continues on. It's hard to believe that it's October already, that the semester is halfway over and that I have begun wearing my collection of jackets and sweaters in hopes that one day the weather will deem such attire bearable. I can detect the faintest change in the color of the leaves, as that familiar green turns into a crisp shade of orange. Very reluctantly they'll begin shedding in order to make way for the healthy, bright colors that accompany the welcome of spring. Such can be a trend found in our own lives. Ephesians 4:22-24 reminds us that we ought to put off our old self which is being corrupted and, instead, put on the new self which was created in God's likeness. With the spiritual war raging before us this must be a practice we implement daily, not just something we consider. I became very familiar with this practice this summer, of trading bitterness for joy, my desire to lead with perfection for leading through weakness. A wise man recently shared with me that God often does His best work in the midst of weakness. I cling to this promise and find peace knowing that God can take even my failures and use them for His glory (makes leading so much easier)! Prior to starting my internship with Awaken in August I had a beautifully constructed image of what this semester would look like, who I'd be leading with and the fruit we'd see. Admittedly, it's nothing like I imagined it to be. I never before understood how emotionally taxing working in ministry would be. It's so joyous to see that Freshman thirsty for the word, a member step into a leadership role, norms and old practices being questioned and replaced in faith. It's heartbreaking, though, to see those who began the race with you fall away, to see friends convinced by the world that their faith should not take precedence, and witness firsthand the crumbling of a team you thought would last the entirety of the short time you’ve been given here on Earth. It is to my understanding that sometimes it's a matter of releasing things in order for God to send us on journeys. As I gladly welcome and hesitantly release, I know that these are merely a part of a higher calling - something extravagantly glorious I have to look forward to.
It brings me great joy to announce that I’m a junior now and I’ve been accepted into UNF’s Special Education program. It took a bit longer than expected, but I’m continuously learning that God’s timing is so much better than my own. My classes are enjoyable; I am currently learning about learners with exceptionalities and how we can be inclusive towards them. I think my favorite part about my major is that I’m learning to love people better and see them as the precious, beloved children of God that they are. Differences can be intimidating; when left unaddressed they can create silence, resentment, even ignorance. When embraced they can lead to an urge for compassion, a new perspective, a better understanding of the intricate body of believers God designed and how their various functions bring Him more glory. Outside of the classroom I spend my time working on various administrative tasks for the church, coordinating events and life groups, and shepherding and caring for people whenever God blesses me with the opportunity. Sharing on campus has been a highlight of my semester thus far. There’s a faithful crew of us who go sharing three days out of the week. God has shown His faithfulness by giving me courage to share my faith with people who oppose it, grant me obedience on days I wish not to obey and allow fruit in the most unexpected situations. He even allowed Sarah and I to begin a weekly Bible study with a girl we met while sharing; I’m overwhelmed by His kindness. Pray for our times together, that God expand the faith of the girl we are meeting with and that He add to our numbers.
Earlier this semester I faced a harsh reality – God is God and I’m not. It truly is as simple as that, though, my heart led me to believe it to be so much more. I debated for so long over my desire for control, the halt of changing seasons, and the restoration of unmet expectations. Exhaustion overwhelmed me; I lost my joy, sinking deeply into a depression powered by the lies fed to me by the enemy. I had forgotten what it was like to be so filled with the Spirit that His presence was undeniable. Only faintly could I remember the goose bumps arising to the surface of my skin as I was moved to tears at the chance to worship our great Creator. No longer could I recall that evasive smile that broke across my face as I witnessed a brother or sister in Christ give him their undivided attention. I had forgotten how much I adored them, how beautiful their hearts for God are and how I longed to hear that bearded ginger screaming praises at the top of his lungs as our church joined together in song. I’ve come to realize that our greatest disappointments, the trials accompanied with this life, are merely His mercies in disguise. They cause me to long for a home this world can’t offer; they allow me to experience such a sweeter relationship with God than previously known. Psalms 27:13 shares this, “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” The truth is God’s goodness is so evident in my life. I see it every time the Gospel is shared, in the countless nights of laughter spent with my lovely roommates as we sing to old country songs and in the moments of silence as I utter prayers to the Lord. It’s been especially prevalent with every opportunity I have to spend time with Stephanie (my mentor) and her two beautiful boys, Noah and Korban. She’s committed her time to obeying the call we have as disciples to aid the spiritual wellbeing of others. She’s spent countless hours teaching, training and equipping me so that I can begin to do the same. I have been so fortunate as to have been welcomed into her home, given the opportunity to call her a friend and create a multitude of messes with her boys. Mark Dever explains discipling to be the act of sharing the knowledge of God and His word through every moment of our lives. We aren’t merely drinking Starbucks coffee and reading scripture with a new believer so that they can momentarily thrive. NO! We proclaim the Gospel now, so that we present everyone fully mature before Christ later (Colossians 1:28). Our eyes are set on an eternal investment – investing in someone’s walk with the Lord, welcoming them into our lives, showing them our successes as well as our flaws allows us to do just that. Stephanie did it. I strenuously pursue it. I challenge you to do the same.
Love,
Morgan Cline